Healing Through Love
by harmonious
Summary: Set after Finn dies this oneshot explores the growth of Rachel Berry through the men in her life. Finn taught her to love. Kurt taught her to trust. Noah taught her to accept. Sam taught her how to love again and heal. Jesse provides a new beginning.


**AN: I just finished Glee and I wasn't expecting Jesse to come back. I was all for Samchel being end game but when I saw him walk onto that stage my heart beat faster and I knew he was endgame. Even though my heart still weeps for poor Sam. However, I want to get this out about the significance of the men in Rachel's lives. I would apologize for the cheesiness but I love it no matter what. Sorry for the grammar and spelling errors. I've literally been typing this since 4 am. **

**Finn and Kurt**

Rachel stood in the Glee Room walking around lazily reminiscing. She stopped at the plaque she had made for the room and touched the picture trembling afraid of the pain but welcoming the reminder of his smile. Her throat closed up and she swallowed heavily trying to gulp down the pain. It never worked. Her eyes started to tear up and she could feel her whole body tremble as sobs wracked her body.

"Rachel," she heard someone ask quietly behind her. She turned around to see Kurt giving her that smile he only reserved for her. The smile of her first true friend. They had been through so much together and understood each other in a level deeper than anyone else. On that night when they got the call they had both lost part of themselves that nothing but Finn could heal. "Are you okay," he asked.

She laughed. "Finn would've just hugged me and asked me who he needed to talk to," Rachel said longingly. She looked up at Kurt and smiled at him. Kurt felt his heart pang seeing that broken smile. He couldn't help her. He walked up to her and hugged her before walking away. He stopped hearing her speak.

"I wish we could have one more silly moment with him. I don't want to kiss him again or have a serious talk about the future. I just want to sit in a car with him again singing our hearts out. Then arguing over if we should sing a classic rock song or Broadway. Of course I would win be-be-ca," she stammered bursting into tears. Kurt hurried toward her hugging her tightly letting her sob into his designer shirt.

"Because he loved you," Kurt muttered.

Finn was her first love. He was the first person she chose to open up her heart to. He was her person and she wanted it to be that way forever.

**Puck**

"So Sam huh," Puck said scoffing.

Rachel looked up into his big hazel eyes as he danced with her at Santana and Brittany's wedding (Kurt and Blaine's as well). "What do you mean," she questioned confused. His face was blank but she could see the frustration in his eyes. At least she hoped it was frustration.

"Well it just seems like a perfect match, the two saps always trying to find love in glee club. First you and Finn. Then you and me. Oh let's not forget about Jesse, he was part of our little club too. You've even kissed Blaine! Should I warn Artie," he asked chuckling darkly.

_Slap_.

They both recoiled from each other in surprise as he rose a hand up to his cheek in surprise and she held her hand shocked.

"What the hell was that for," he yelled. His yell drew the attention of several away from the brides and grooms dancing in the middle of the room. She grabbed his arm and dragged him outside. She saw Sam out of the corner of her eye start walking toward them and walked away faster hoping to lose him. After minutes walking with Noah yelling at her telling her to slow down she stopped and turned around to face him.

"HOW DARE YOU! I LOVE FINN," she screamed at him hurt and angry. She started punching his torso repeatedly crying that he could be cruel enough to ruin such a great day. Puck grabbed her fists trying to stop her. She wasn't seriously hurting him but she was getting a few good punches in.

"Berry, Berry stop it," he started off quietly before elevating his voice seeing she was lost in her own world, "RACHEL STOP!"

She collapsed against him sobbing and he held her angry at himself because he knew Finn would be glaring at him for making his girl cry. He could feel her sobs start to leave as she looked up at him with those annoyingly perfect big brown eyes.

"You were the first person to convince me I was okay for who I was. All my annoying parts, my nose, my good parts. Finn was the first one to love me for it but you were the first one who told me it was okay," she declared tearing up again, "Now you're comparing me to Pre-coming out slutty Santana."

He pulled away from her and looked up trying not to look at her. Those eyes always made him tell the truth eventually. "I thought you were replacing him. It's no secret that Sam and Finn were really similar except you know Finn was cooler and my best friend," Puck muttered out trying to hide the pain in his voice. He felt Rachel's hands cup his chin and pull him down to eye level.

"I could never replace him and I would never try," Rachel stated strongly looking at him. Her warm eyes looked into his and he felt safe again. She started to walk away and looked back at him offering him her hand. He was already forgiven because that's how it worked out between them two. He yelled and vented and she reacted. Then it was over. Rachel needed that, someone who would always tell her the truth, not arrogant like Santana, but someone who was just as lost.

Puck laughed. "Never change Berry," he remarked.

"Of course not Noah," Rachel confirmed warmly.

Puck turned away. "Enough of this mushy crap," he exclaimed," we've got a party to tear up. Us Jews gotta show them how to really party."

They walked away holding each other's hands. At one time both thought they could learn to love each other but that's not what they needed. They needed that friend that was going to just always be there and not ask the other one to change. At least not seriously anyway.

**Sam**

Rachel woke up her heart beating fast as she sat up quickly panting heavily. She felt herself calming down as she took deep breaths trying to shake off her dream. Well nightmare. She took in her surroundings. She was in a bed but it was dark. She started to wake up but felt something draped across her lap pull her back.

"What time is it," the voice asked drowsy. She looked down and saw a mop of blonde hair. She shivered realizing she had no clothes. The night came back to her. She had said yes. She had come into his room knowing just sleeping wasn't on his mind. She had wanted it. She remembered the sighs, the passion but most of all she remembered his kisses on her skin and enjoying it.

"I'm not sure," Rachel muttered shakily. He immediately sat up hearing her tone. It had been a hard day for her saying goodbye to her home.

"Another dream," he asked gently. She nodded her head and he wrapped her up in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and his fingers moved up and down her arm comfortingly. He remembered the first time they had just slept together and woke up to whimpers off in the distance. He had moved around the room until he found her curled up against the wall sobbing. All he did was sit down next to her and let her cry against him. After what seemed like hours she confided in him. She had dreamt of Finn and her in their house, old together talking about the old days. She had confided in him that in her dreams she felt safe but was angry at Finn for no longer being a pleasant dream but a nightmare. Every time she woke up from a dream she was wracked with pain. Since that day she slept with him everyday. That was the first day Rachel Berry chose to let someone into her heart.

Sam wasn't stupid. He knew that he could never compete with Finn and he didn't want to. He was pretty sure he was going to get his heart broken again too. He couldn't help it though. The truth was Rachel needed him more right now than he needed her. She had chosen him to be the man to reawaken her heart and guide her back to a safe place. To help her put those pieces together again. He knew when she healed though that he would need her more and she would realize that he wasn't enough anymore. He couldn't help but wish though that he would be the one cheering her on in the future.

She fell asleep in his arms and he laid them down. He held her tightly because everyday he loved her more and everyday he could feel her slipping.

It was okay though. He would always cheer her on and that's what she needed. Someone to root for her even when she wasn't rooting for herself anymore.

**Jesse**

_Knock. Knock. _

Jesse St. James walked to his window and checked who was outside. A true New Yorker always checked their window first. Surprised at his visitor he quickly scrambled toward his door and opened it to the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Hey," she asked hesitantly.

"Hey," he said grinning ear to ear at a loss for words. They just grinned at each other stupidly.

" Can I come in," she inquired.

"Of course. So how can I help you Miss Rachel Berry," he asked smirking as she walked in looking around the spacious cold apartment that desperately needed Kurt's designer touch.

"Well it seems that living with newlyweds is quite possibly the most traumatizing experience anyone can experience. The other day I walked into them ready to make the beast with two backs on our dining room table. Needless to say I booked a hotel room and started my search for a worthy apartment when I remembered your offer," Rachel explained quickly.

"Hmmmm I'm not sure. I was deeply offended that you denied me so quickly," Jesse said with a fake wounded expression," but for you I might." Rachel started to open her mouth but he cut her off, "with some conditions off course. She quickly shut her mouth and raised an eyebrow inquiringly. " You have to attend all my shows when I ask, you must engage in a sing off with me at least three times a week but it must be something other than Barbara the other two days of the week. And you have to help me rehearse."

"I think those are reasonable requests," Rachel answered.

Jesse walked up to her gazing into her eyes as he leaned his face closer to her. "Are you sure," he whispered seductively," there's some really intense scenes. I might even need some help rehearsing the romance scenes. I'm afraid the girl they cast just doesn't have the right spark I need to loosen me up."

Rachel breathed in deeply and smirked. She placed her finger on his lips shushing him and pushing him back with her other hand. "I think I can keep up. Now help me get my bags. They're right out the door," she whispered back, her gaze never leaving his.

Jesse gave her his famous smirk. "Ohhhhh so you knew I'd say yes," he questioned amused.

"You forget Jesse St. James. I always get what I want. Starting with getting Kurt in here and bringing some fashionable taste in here," she replied smartly.

"Well I'm afraid to spoil your dreams but that's never going to happen," he declared. They walked out the door and grabbed her bags and brought them inside. "Now I think you promised me dinner," Jesse said putting his arm around her shoulders and guiding her out. She didn't pull back as they exited the door.

Kurt was at their apartment a week later taking measurements and discussing color palettes with them. Of course they gave their opinion and Kurt chose the correct one.

The thing is Jesse St. James had let her go once. Since that day he wondered how he could live without her. As he got to know her again though he couldn't have been more thankful. He had fallen for Rachel hard but this was different. This felt like a new beginning.

And it was. It was a beautiful beginning where Rachel Berry had learned to give and lose. Where she learned that love wasn't just romantic, it was also having people to rely on. She learned that it was okay to move on and live again. It was a beginning in which Rachel Berry wasn't just new but whole again.

Finn was her first true love.

Kurt was her first confidant.

Puck was her rock.

Sam was her healer.

Jesse was endgame.


End file.
